


Alone

by slytherinwoozi



Series: hopeless fountain kingdom [1]
Category: Fifth Harmony (Band), Halsey (Musician)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Getting Together, Reality
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 19:29:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12464355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slytherinwoozi/pseuds/slytherinwoozi
Summary: I got a new place in CaliBut I'm gone every nightSo I fill it with strangersSo they keep on the lights





	Alone

**Author's Note:**

> This is the beginning of a series of short oneshots I've been writing late at night when I need a distraction. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!

Sometimes, Ashley wondered what it would be like to be able to stop time. Living the dream life was exciting, it really was, but it wasn't nearly as dreamy as she thought it would be.  
She had a new show every day. Thousands of people she needed to please. Thousands of people singing every word to her songs. She knew she needed them more than they could ever need her. They were her fuel, her reason. Still, when she went home – or back to a hotel room – she felt lonely. She felt it in her bones, as if that feeling had decided her heart would be its home long before she even noticed it. And then she cried. Like a little girl, messy and red-nosed and awful. She longed for peace and quiet, but her brain was the noisiest companion she'd ever known. So she slept it out and asked for extra concealer under her eyes before she stepped into the next stage. The make-up artist never questioned it. Sometimes, she wished he did.  
That day, though, was a day to celebrate. She had impulsively bought a house in California last year, and now she could finally live inside it for a while. Her few friends were keeping it tidy as she toured throughout North America, and now it was time to come back. Ashley had barely had time to take a shower and sleep the jet lag away before people started coming in. A surprise, they said. A party, with everyone she loved. That was apparently a broad concept for her friends, as there were what seemed like hundreds of people wandering around the house. Her pretty, peaceful house. Part of her wanted to break some bottles and throw a tantrum, but that would end up in every tabloid ever next morning, so she behaved. She put on her best smile and pretended she didn't care if the random guests used her pretty crystal champagne glasses to drink some cheap, intoxicating booze. Just the smell made her sick to her stomach. The music wasn't quite good, either, some remix of an overplayed song that everybody seemed to love. They wanted to dance with her and share gossip, but she just wanted to avoid them and go straight to sleep.  
Instead of going to bed, she went to the backyard. It was what convinced her to buy that house. She found it fun to visit empty houses and imagine herself, an alternate universe Ashley, living there, settling down with someone and having a nice little family. She wasn't that Ashley, though. She was Halsey, and she had work to do, and she was too busy to fall in love. That house, though, made her speechless. It looked like something straight out of a movie, cozy and just beautiful, the sun hitting the hardwood floors and making little rainbows appear everywhere. She needed it. A piece of an improbable future that she could keep forever.  
Sitting on a bench, she stared at the sky, trying not to look at the people who were depredating the landscaping with cigarette butts and unfinished cups of liquor. She was trying to stop anyway. The smoke was bad for her throat and lungs, and she was tired of being scolded like a teenager whenever she took a cigarette break while rehearsing. It was a little challenge for herself, getting rid of a habit she had had for most of her life. It was a way to prove to herself that she was capable of amazing things.  
A smile crawled its way up to her lips when she noticed she barely had to fight her mind anymore. The smell of nicotine made her sick instead of lustful, and her body no longer craved inhaling all of it. Maybe just a little. She was still human, after all. She could make mistakes, as long as she didn't dwell on them.  
"Seems like I'm not the only one who's feeling left out in this party," a voice startled her, husky and full of snark.  
"Well, I'm the host. Technically, I'm leaving people out."  
"Nah. You're feeling excluded as fuck. I see it in your eyes."  
Turning to roll her eyes at whoever it was, she finally recognized the owner of that voice. Green eyes, brown hair and a body to die for. Lauren Jauregui.  
"Maybe I am," she agreed before she could think twice.  
"These things are never as fun as they seem, right?"  
Ashley shrugged.  
"Actually, I enjoy this kind of thing."  
"Oh, yes, it's noticeable. You're having the time of your life right now, dancing with people you've never seen and getting wine stains on your favorite clothes."  
"I could be. I'm just very, very jet lagged."  
"Where even were you, anyway? Florida? That's not even that far away."  
"I was in Paris."  
"The fuck?," Lauren looked at her, eyes and mouth wide open. "How did the paparazzi not get you?"  
It made her feel funny, getting that look of awe from Lauren Jauregui, out of everyone. Getting that kind of attention all to herself while she could be schmoozing with her band members. It was silly, but Ashley felt special.  
"I'm good at hiding."  
"Then find us a place to hide. I'm done with this party. No offense to you, but..."  
"None taken. I'm done too."  
Ashley got up and tried not to smile too hard as she dragged Lauren up a staircase, tripping on some steps and almost making her fall. After crossing the hallway, she finally found it. The master bedroom. It was one of the nicest places in the house, with a reading nook and its own balcony. She still remembered seeing it for the first time and imagining what it would be like to wake up there. Today, she would find out.  
"Oh, so we're taking things fast," Lauren laughed as she lied down on the king sized bed.  
"Shut up."  
Her laugh was infectious. She was so pretty, all delicate curves and long eyelashes. And her eyes were just... something else. She'd seen pictures, of course, and way too many videos, but they were so much more than a camera could capture. They made her speechless.  
"So, who are you?"  
"I'm Halsey," she lifted an eyebrow at the question while making herself comfortable on the bed.  
"I know that. But I'm talking about something else."  
"I'm Ashley, and I'm very, very tired."  
"Okay. That's better."  
"Who are you?"  
"I'm Lauren, and I never want to see a pair of high heels again"  
They both laughed at that. Her stilettos had been abandoned on the floor as if they didn't cost thousands of dollars, and she was getting rid of her jewelry, too. Somehow, she only got prettier.  
"We've got a lot in common, then," Ashley kicked her own shoes, immediately feeling a hundred times better. "You're really, really pretty."  
"So are you," Lauren giggled.  
"No. I mean it."  
She buried her face on a pillow, ready to call it a night. When she started getting too honest, it was time to sleep. She couldn't embarrass herself while sleeping.  
"And what makes you feel like I don't?"  
"I'm a mess."  
"Yeah. A very beautiful mess."  
"And I really want to sleep."  
Lauren propped herself up, taking it as a request for her to leave. Ashley opened her eyes to find her and drag her back to bed.  
"Stay," she asked. "If you don't mind."  
"Well, sleeping is my favorite hobby," Lauren smiled at her, lying back down and closing her eyes. "I could use a nap."  
Ashley's answer was a yawn. As her body relaxed into the soft duvet, she noticed how uncomfortable her clothes were. She should have just put on a Calvin Klein bra and some overalls, but for some reason she had felt like getting fancy that night. She rolled around the bed until she could find the perfect position, eyes still closed, and ended up stumbling into Lauren, who just laughed. Her skin was warm in contrast with Ashley's own cold fingers, but they fit together somehow. Soon enough, both shared the same temperature, a mess of tangled limbs and pretty clothes on top of the enormous bed.  
For the first time in months, she didn't dream. Her sleep was numb in a peaceful way, filled with silence and comfort. Opening her eyes was almost painful; she spent minutes with them closed, trying to gather the courage to do so and start a new day. Staying in bed sounded so tempting, but she had sights to see and TV shows to binge. It would be way too much of a waste to sleep all day when she was free to do whatever she wanted to. She opened them slowly, feeling last night's mascara stick her eyelashes together. It must have left a stain on the pillow. Turning to check it, she finally noticed the other person in the room.  
"Good morning, sunshine," Lauren smiled, her voice still husky from sleeping.  
"Good morning, you," Ashley covered her face with a pillow, trying to hide the disaster her make-up probably was.  
"You look even cuter when you sleep, you know?"  
"I bet so. Especially with all this clumped mascara and smeared lipstick."  
Lauren laughed and closed her eyes for a second, making her think she had fallen back to sleep. It was surprising that she had stayed the night. Not even her friends did that when she asked them to. She stretched her arms with a loud yawn, trying to organize her thoughts into something minimally understandable.  
"Come here. I'll help you wash all that make-up off," Lauren took her hand and dragged her out of the bed and into the cozy, carpeted floor. When they were both standing, she stopped moving, waiting for directions. The house was still unknown to her. And to Ashley, as well. That had been her first proper night inside it.  
Not letting go of her hand, she led her to the bathroom. It looked a little bit like a spa, still perfectly arranged for visitors, white towels and colorful candles everywhere. Lauren started to open all the doors and drawers, searching intently for something. She seemed to give up after a while, but found victory in the cabinet.  
"Okay. This might get a little messy. Close your eyes."  
Ashley obeyed, patiently waiting for the next step. She heard the sound of water as Lauren fiddled with the tap, looking for the perfect temperature. That girl was way too cute. Without a warning, she touched Ashley's face with something soft and started rubbing it slowly. She was startled at first, but it was quite relaxing in the end. It took them longer than expected, way too much make-up clogging up her pores, but when she opened her eyes again to look at the mirror her face was cleaner than it had been in weeks.  
"Now it's my turn."  
Lauren sat on the edge of the bathtub while Ashley got a cotton ball and warm water, green eyes watching her every move. She couldn't help but feel nervous. That moment felt intimate and domestic, like something out of a teenage sleepover. They weren't Lauren Jauregui and Halsey at that moment; they were just two ordinary girls who partied too hard last night and slept with make-up on. It was nice to feel that normal after touring around the continent.  
"Okay. I'm starting right now," she warned as she stood in front of Lauren, who had her eyes already closed. Even with melted make-up, she looked like a work of art.  
Ashley touched her chin lightly to lift her face up, stopping to appreciate how beautiful the morning light looked coming from the little window behind them before starting to clean her face. She held the cotton ball tentatively against Lauren's cheek before starting to move, foundation and glittery blush coming out with ease when met with warm water. Somehow, she looked even prettier without make-up on. Her skin was soft and speckled with tiny freckles all over it, like stars in the Milky Way. Ashley took as long as she could to finish what she was doing, pretending it was hard to remove the pigment from her eyes and cheeks, even though it was long gone.  
"I think I'm done," she announced, still holding Lauren's chin, only letting go of her when the girl got up.  
"That was pretty good. Thank you," Lauren said, earnestly, while looking at the mirror. "Now I owe you breakfast."  
"You don't need to do that."  
"But I want to."  
Lauren's voice was confident, but her face showed she was just as nervous as Ashley. There was something awkward and delightful about her company. They went down the stairs in silence, too lazy to talk and walk at the same time, and Ashley almost got lost inside her own house before finding the kitchen. It was big and still dirty from last night, glasses all over the sink and suspicious stains on the countertops. She let out a disapproving sigh before opening some doors to search for the ingredients for a decent breakfast.  
"What do you think about pancakes?"  
"I love any breakfast food. They're all just out of this world."  
"That's good, because pancakes are the only thing I know how to make without burning the house down," Lauren looked sheepish as she opened a cabinet's doors to find a bowl and an old whisk.  
"Then please make pancakes. I'm not sure if I want the cause of my death to be breakfast."  
Both of them laughed as they threw ingredients into the bowl, not too sure about quantities. She knew she'd love anything made by Lauren, anyway.  
The process quickly turned into a flour war, making the kitchen even dirtier as they attacked each other. She was pretty sure she had gotten butter in her hair at some point, and Lauren's black outfit was now stained with pancake batter. They looked silly, but it was the most fun she had had in a while. After the war finally ended, she sat on top of a counter, watching Lauren fight the cooktop and the frying pan. She wasn't lying when she had said she was bad at cooking, but it was too funny to interrupt. Ashley just watched, trying not to laugh at Lauren's failed attempts at flipping the pancakes.  
"Don't judge me," she complained, turning to Ashley with the frying pan still in her hand. "I'm providing for the household."  
"You truly are. Where would I be without you?"  
"In a pretty dining room, with no breakfast whatsoever."  
"Sounds sad."  
Making Lauren giggle felt like an accomplishment. It was just so cute when she laughed, her eyes almost closed and a wide smile taking over everything, lighting up the whole room. She could hear the sound of her laugh forever.  
"I think they turned out okay. I didn't burn anything and none of them is stuck to the ceiling, so we're fine," Lauren finally said, turning around to show Ashley a plate stacked with pancakes. She left them on the island before walking up to her, standing between her legs. "I think I deserve a prize."  
She smiled before getting closer to Lauren, feeling her breathe against her skin. They stood like that for what felt like a decade before kissing, sweet and close-mouthed and then full of desire, Ashley's hands finding a place under her tight top and Lauren's holding her jaw, keeping her close even when they had to breathe. It was clumsy and embarrassing, full of clashing teeth and silly smiles, but it was also wonderful. She kissed her again and again, locking her legs around Lauren's hips and completely forgetting about breakfast.  
"Fuck," Lauren stated, a tiny smile blooming in her lips. "I've been wanting to do this for a while."  
"What? Kissing in the kitchen?"  
"Kissing you."  
Ashley couldn't contain the smile that crept up her lips, hiding her face on Lauren's shoulder.  
"You didn't even know me."  
"I knew you. You were the one who didn't know me."  
"As if that were possible. You're famous all over the world."  
"And still you didn't even look at my face!"  
"I tend to avoid stalking my celebrity crushes, you know."  
"Celebrity," Lauren laughed. "That's so weird. Sometimes I wonder what life would be like if it was always like this."  
"It would be nice, but I think I'd get lonely without a public watching and criticizing everything I do."  
"Same," she shrugged while detangling herself from Ashley's legs. "Do you have any syrup?"  
And there it was. A normal, domestic life. Making pancakes with a pretty girl and kissing her even though they were both covered in flour. Looking for honey and maple syrup around the kitchen and sitting at a breakfast bar to share a messy meal. She wondered what it would be like if that were her life. It wasn't as bad as she thought an ordinary life would be, even though she missed her fans and the studio. It felt calm enough for her to forget about all of her problems and just enjoy the food. Maybe she could get used to that, after all.


End file.
